Please select a song from the list at the left to see the lyrics from that song...
HUMP LITES
Well I wanna get in the whole world’s pants and when my beaver’s hungry preemies ain’t got a chance I turn it out in granny glasses and hotpants and my digs are decked out for statutory romance WITH HIM EVERY NITE I WANNA ROCK OUT WITH HIM EVERY NIGHT I WANNA ROCK OUT WITH HIM EVERY NITE UNDER THE HUMP LITES OH YEAH HUMP LITES OH YEAH etc. Well they call me your grandma cuz I’m two-hundred-and six but I got a lollipop you know you wanna lick I’ll bounce up and down on the preemie trampoline and shake my pop-poms cuz I’m Chunky Superteen (Repeat chorus) Cuz I am your grandma She is your grandma!!! x8

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STOP THE WEDDING
A-well I met this guy sometime last May I heard he was hung and a machine gun lay But I musta been drunk, I musta been busy Musta been watchin’ tapes of old MacGuyver or Richard Bey IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY YOU BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY AND ALL YOU BAD FUCKS OUT THERE DON’T YOU TRY TO BONE ME I ONLY WANTED A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY FIRST I DID SOME JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS HE SAID “DAMN I LIKE YOUR RACK--I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!!” BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING SOFT THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID “HEY! THE WEDDING’S OFF!!!” And so that guy I had just met last May He saw my cameltoe then canceled his wedding day In a leotard made of the finest gold lame At his bachelor party guess who popped right outta the cake?   (Repeat chorus)

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FRAT PARTY!
And I can't think of anything better to do!!! Than have a Frat party with you!

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GHOST BOOBS
Gazoyngas aplenty Back pains she had many For such knockers hooters funbags boys were not even ready She could hold your beer Without hands she could steer Smack a grown man in the face so hard he’d shed a few tears cuz they were GHOST BOOBS OOH YOU HARDLY KNEW ME GHOST BOOBS OOH WE HARDLY KNEW YE (repeat) It was a fad diet, she had to try it Chrissy Snow looked pretty hot so Thighmaster just buy it A paid membership at the bulldyke gym cuz her boyfriend likes Sue Powter so why not impress him? What she didn’t foresee was that her twiddles would flee Her thighs and gut both stayed the same but she could now see her knees Her boyfriend he did weep, he thought her twiddles would keep but they didn’t know that they would come back in her sleep cuz they were (Repeat chorus) I thought I was fat so I went on a diet If I knew that they’d split I would never have tried it

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(EV'RYBODY DO) THE THINGY
And I was feelin’ kinda g’deen so I took off my pants and I did the thingy (repeat) Had a funny feeling your dong was quite appealing so down came my pants Reached into my beaver and made you a believer in the latest forbidden dance I saw him in a magazine I wanted to rip off his clothes and tell him something First you stick it in then you wiggle about Follow my steps I’m gonna turn yins out When I wanna screw I put on something blue from 1974 When I’m feeling g’deen there’s only one thing that can turn me on more Feel the power, jump in the shower I’m gonna fuck you in outer space Can you believe how g’deen this is We can do it all over the place Feelin’ kinda g’deen so I took off my pants and I did the thingy (repeat) C’mon ev’rybody, DO THE THINGY!!!! SO G’DEEN!!! MY PANTS!!!!  A dooey dooey doo yeah-ha-ha...

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DARQUE TAN
His life was a breeze Just one thing left to appease Wanna give that bottle a squeeze and look just like Charlize? But these times are so hard Must do more than lay in the yard To look like a Belize postcard or a reality star But this story’s tragic You don’t turn orange by magic You could do it solar like Rick or stick your ass in a thick tank full of darque waves cuz it’s the latest craze Do it for forty days, get accused of wearing blackface-oh! DARQUE TAN, HE’S A FAN! DARQUE TAN, NO MORE WAN!! DARQUE TAN, IT”S HIS PLAN!!! DARQUE TAN, CHILDREN RAN!!!! I knew it was a bad idea when he got into that bed I never knew it would come to this ‘til he looked at me and said I wanna get a tan! Uh-uh!! I wanna get a tan!! Bad idea!!! I wanna get a tan!!! I don’t think so!!!! I wanna get a tan!!!! TOO SCARY!!!! (Repeat chorus) And now he’s dead, I’ll never see him again He turned orange, then red No one wins in the end Then he died, his face was fried In the booth all that’s left is a tooth He turned red, then he turned dead Listen and learn...or you, too, will be burned.

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JONNY MAKEUP
Toot toot! And a beep beep! You’re a coal miner’s daughter who turned to the street And with a toot toot! And a beep beep! You snorted two hot loads off of the bar seat In Hello Kitty couture, always the man du jour I don’t know what that means but I’m sure it ain’t a bore Tilly McEloise said she wants to take you to bed Ambush Makeover really gave you  Hollywood cred  HEY JONNY JONNY D-DON’TCHA PUT AWAY YOUR MAKEUP (one two) HEY JONNY JONNY IT’S YOUR WORLD THAT I WANNA SHAKE UP (one two) Hey Jonny you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Jonny, Hey Jonny!!!! Toot toot! And a beep beep! A Dolly Parton tattoo, I talk to you in your sleep It sounds like toot toot! And a beep beep! It’s like Easter in your pants and everyone wants a Peep Ya little label slut, you make the tabloids nuts But if they only knew you couldn’t rape a donut Kiehl’s gift bag, what fancy schmancy schwag But it’s that Broadway voice that really makes me gag yeah HEY JONNY JONNY D-DON’TCHA PUT AWAY YOUR MAKEUP (one two) HEY JONNY JONNY YOU’RE A DREAM AND I DON’T WANNA WAKE UP (one two) I’m really really goin’ through it so when are we gonna do it I grew out all my pubes trying to look like a dude in hopes that you’d someday screw it I’m reading out like I’m Levar Burton but that’s only cuz I’m really hurtin’ Beyonce of V.I.P. I wanna be your wifey cuz when you’re flirtin’ Gravy Train!!!! is squirtin’!!!! I’m living! I’m gagging! You’re screening! I’m reading!

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